In Paul’s telling, #MomTok began in 2021 when she and three other mothers in their 2os — Whitney Leavitt, Mayci Neeley and Mikayla Matthews — began collaborating on dance, beauty, lifestyle and trending videos. But that core group expanded rapidly as #MomTok’s popularity soared. “#MomTok is essentially a content creator house except for we don’t actually live together,” Neeley explains in the show. “And we’re all moms, we’re all Mormons. I guess you could say a lot of us in #MomTok look similar. We all have a similar style or similar look, but we’re just going off based on what’s trending.” Soon, what began as “a group of Mormon moms making TikToks,” as Paul put it, became a powerhouse that ushered in brand deals and other lucrative opportunities. Some of the women even became the main breadwinners in their families. Kate Davis, the Krieger visiting scholar in religious studies at Defiance College in Ohio, sees #MomTok as of one of the latest iterations of Mormon women influencers — and one that follows the tradition of pre-internet writers, mommy bloggers and Instagram stars. The “reflective writing tradition” of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints — and its encouragement of writing, maintaining and passing on personal narratives — is one of the main reasons Mormon women, in particular, have been primed for the social media age, she said. “That’s part of why they’re ready to jump into these movements, but I think part of the answer is also that there is a perception that it’s a thing you can do and still be a stay-at-home parent,” said Davis, who wrote her dissertation on Mormon and Evangelical women influencers. “It’s this idea that you can earn an income while still staying home, while still technically being under the label stay-at-home mom.” The #MomTok videos echo that idea — a collection ranging from clips of the moms lip-syncing and dancing together, to tutorials on skin care products and makeup, to snippets of their lives at home. Some have featured the moms talking about sponsored products or paid partnerships. “I think what #MomTok did so well was making very conservative family values — where it’s like one dad, one mom, multiple kids, and mom stays home — very sort of sexy and relevant on TikTok,” Davis said. “Because it’s still a conservative message. It’s just in athleisure … and Stanley cups.” At the same time, Davis said, there’s another paradox in the #MomTok content: While many “evangelize the idealized version of religious life” — cue the clips of traditional blessings or the dirty sodas spiked with syrups and creamers that are the equivalent of Mormon coffee — some of the women push the envelope on what outsiders might expect of how Mormon wives and mothers should act. And that’s the point, according to the “Secret Lives of Mormon Wives” stars: “We are trying to change the stigma of the gender roles in the Mormon culture,” Neeley says in the show. But what happens when scandal strikes?

What’s so scandalous about #MomTok?

In May 2022, Paul announced in a lip-syncing video on TikTok that she was divorcing her husband. At first, the story seemed simple: two people who didn’t want to be together anymore but were committed to co-parenting their two children. Five days later, though, controversy erupted after Paul told her millions of followers in a now-infamous TikTok Live video that she and her then-husband had been taking part in “soft swinging,” a type of consensual non-monogamy that she described as “when you just hook up, but you don’t go all the way.” Paul also said she had “messed up” by violating the boundaries she and her husband had agreed upon — and then suggested, without naming names, that other people in her friend group were drinking and swapping partners, too. “No one is innocent,” Paul said. “Everyone has hooked up with everyone.” Those claims quickly escaped the app and went viral, fueling a wave of speculation. Caught in the dragnet were Paul’s influencer friends and the wider community of Mormon mom TikTokers, who were left fielding assumptions that they, too, were involved in the partner swapping. (Many have publicly said they were not.) It didn’t help that Paul was later arrested and charged with assault and domestic violence in the presence of a child after having an altercation with her new boyfriend. In August 2023, she pleaded guilty to aggravated assault, and the other charges were dismissed. For Whitney Leavitt, one of the #MomTokers, the arrest was the final straw. The sex scandal “gave us publicity,” Leavitt said — but it has also affected their brand deals, livelihoods and reputation, she tells other mom influencers as they plot out how to “change the culture” of #MomTok.

Where does the show pick up?

Following eight women of #MomTok about two years after the scandal, the show isn’t necessarily about swinging, as much as it is about friendship, faith, womanhood, struggle and reinvention. The storyline heavily involves the fallout from Paul’s TikTok revelation and highlights a feud between Paul and Leavitt, who is portrayed as a Regina George-esque figure aiming for Paul’s #MomTok throne. There’s also as much infighting as one would expect in a reality TV show — in one instance, the group separates itself into “sinners” and “saints” cliques based on how closely they follow Mormon doctrine. At the same time, though, the series shows vulnerable moments as the women come together to support one another, strive to repair their friendships and secure their continued influencer work. As the series synopsis reads: “Faith, friendship, and reputations are all on the line. Will #MomTok be able to survive and continue to give the rulebook a run for its money, or will this group fall from grace?”

Does #MomTok survive the scandal?

The verdict is still out on this one. On an individual level, the #MomTokers are doing pretty well for themselves — together raking in a collective 11.3 million followers on TikTok. And the show could certainly bring them more views, attention and deals. As a collective, #MomTok “isn’t necessarily dead, but I’m not sure if any of these participants can find their way back to that level of success in that particular way,” Davis said. “The thing is that their image was aspirational — it’s this lifestyle that they have that any other person would want, too,” she added. “And once you shatter that image, I’m not sure you can put it back together.” Still, Davis predicts this won’t be the end of Mormon moms taking the internet by a chokehold — or of the #MomTokers making waves. “I wouldn’t be surprised to see someone show up on ‘Real Housewives of Salt Lake’ or similar shows, and this is a good step in that direction” she said. “Plus, but the ideas are still there and Mormon women are still incredibly industrious and good at making content.”

‘The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives’ and the swinging sex scandal, explained

The new Hulu series “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives” follows eight Mormon influencers as they navigate the aftermath of a sex scandal that rocked their #MomTok group.

8 min

The cast of “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives” are seen on Sept. 3 in Los Angeles. From left, Whitney Leavitt, Taylor Frankie Paul, Demi Engemann, Layla Taylor, Mayci Neeley, Jessi Ngatikaura, Jenn Affleck and Mikayla Matthews. (Ashley Rose Ramirez/Disney)

By María Luisa Paúl

September 7, 2024 at 6:00 a.m. EDT

As the world began emerging from the height of the coronavirus pandemic in 2021, a collective of women known as #MomTok took social media by storm with their giant Stanley cups, coordinated athleisure outfits and viral dances — in V formation, no less — to provocative pop songs.

But the wholesome image portrayed by the friend group of Mormon TikTok stars — all moms in Utah — came crashing down in 2022 with a sex scandal. Taylor Frankie Paul, one of #MomTok’s main creators, announced she and her husband had decided to divorce after “soft swinging” with other couples in their friend group.

The scandal thrust #MomTok into the spotlight, prompting deep dives on Reddit, national headlines and cheating accusations. And now, some of the group’s members are taking the drama from people’s phone screens to television.

Enter “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives.”

The eight-episode reality TV series, which premiered Friday on Hulu, follows eight #MomTok influencers as they navigate the scandal’s aftermath — whether that is rehashing friendships, trying to remake the group’s image, securing brand deals or vying for the spot of queen bee. The result is a convoluted cocktail of internet culture, faith and drama — think “Real Housewives of Salt Lake City” meets “Mean Girls.”

Here’s what you need to know about “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives” and the scandal that prompted it. (Warning: Spoilers ahead.)