Democracy Dies in Darkness

A ‘gray divorce’ can upend your retirement plans

Who keeps the house? Or pays the credit card bill? You need a financial exit strategy for a breakup at any age.

5 min
(Washington Post illustration; iStock)
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I used to wonder how a couple could be married for decades and then decide to divorce as they approached retirement.

Aside from the emotional toll, there’s the financial impact of splitting the money they set aside for their golden years.

In 1990, people 50 and older accounted for 8 percent of marital splits — a phenomenon known as “gray divorce.” Today, it’s nearly 40 percent, according to Bowling Green State University’s National Center for Family and Marriage Research.

My husband and I will celebrate 33 years of marriage this year. Baby boomers ourselves, it’s become clearer now how relationships can be tested later in life. If you have children, they may need less of your attention as they move into adulthood. An empty nest can resurface emotions you’ve long buried.

Maybe one of you is retired, and the other isn’t, so there’s friction about how to spend your time. Health issues can strain a marriage.

Maybe it’s the realization that, after 20 or 30 years, you’d rather not spend any more time with a spouse you no longer like or have anything in common with.

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